25 More Imaginative Deaths for Charlie Harper

1. Butt-plug misfire.
2. Complications from experimental Hep-3 treatment in Mexico.
3. Beaten to death by Gaddafi's crack team of female bodyguards.
4. Hummer. Hummer. Cliff. Pacific.
5. Murdered in violent altercation with Hollywood celebrity Charlie Sheen.
6. Melody to new cereal jingle accidentally opens fifth circle of Hell.
7. Killed in duel for the hand of Miss Kandy Kardashian.
8. Toxic blood condition created by years of exposure to unrestrained farting in house.
9. Pornslide.
10. Autoerotic asphyxiation while watching DVD of Platoon.
11. Mauled at L.A. zoo in drunken attempt to fellate tiger.
12. Eaten by .5 Man.
13. Bloody bathroom suicide that Bertha simply will not clean up.
14. Drawn and quartered in accident with new sex harness.
15. Beaten to death with tire iron by the ghost of Jack Warner.
16. Killed by Alan Harper in attempt to harvest and transplant magical penis.
17. Murdered by his own prostate. 
18. Stroke triggered by sheer hilarity of all-night Punk'd marathon on MTV.
19. Complications from most violent yet most hilarious kick to groin ever captured on film.
20. Rose found wearing his skin.
21. Body spontaneously dissolves leaving behind only a stain of liquid putridity.
22. Crushed by safe containing 25 million dollars thrown randomly out a window.
23. 3  x 8-ball = 24-ball.
24. Utter f@#king boredom.
25. Dildo on staircase.

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