American Bald Eagle 1: American Women 0
I also tuned in because Limbaugh's syndicator has supposedly resorted to running blocks of dead air in the wake of Rush's humiliating admission that he has no clue how contraception works ( every act of intercourse requires taking the "pill." More sex = more pills, reasons Rush). Sad, isn't it, that we are forced to debate issues of public policy with a little boy who apparently never had "the talk" with his parents? When I was in elementary school, some junior high wisenheimer told a bunch of us that f@#king happened when a boy kissed a girl while peeing (an understandable distortion, perhaps). If I had finally learned that wasn't true in high school, I would have been embarrassed. If in college, I would have been mortified. If in my thirties, I would have been suicidal. So imagine what it's like for Rush--married four times--to admit, in front of millions of listeners, that he has absolutely no clue what goes on up there in them secreted ladyish parts each month. It's like Steve Carell's cringe-worthy descriptions of breast groping in The 40-Year Old Virgin, except in some nightmare of political black comedy, Limbaugh's 6th-grade-level misunderstandings of basic science actually have an impact on public debate.
|"I hate you, America, so very, very much."|
They really should be forced to pick sides; in fact, I would gladly fund a mailer to distribute in GOP voting districts asking the following:
Which statement most accurately reflects your beliefs?
A. Despite the seemingly insurmountable obstacle of having been born in Kenya, Barack Obama has nevertheless skillfully manipulated the civic, political, and media institutions of the greatest democracy on earth, blessed with the smartest and most Godly people in all of history, so that he might become the illegitimate President of the United States, and thus one of the most powerful people in the world, for the sole purpose of making sure everyone becomes dependent on government food stamps.
B. Obama is a stupid liberal who don't know shit 'bout nothin'.
If you do not understand the two positions described above, please have your liberal children or grandchildren explain it to you next time they come back from fornicating at college.
|"Caw! My rights are sacrosanct"|
|"Mine, not so much."|
And here's how I know Rush is losing it, that his "peeing while kissing" moment has rattled him to the core. Rather than see the potential dangers of following this guy down a rat-hole of illogic, one that Limbaugh had himself helped dig over the past few weeks, Rush fully endorsed this moron's outrage. How dare the federal government allow for exemptions based on religious freedom! Federal law should be sacrosanct and followed by all Americans...no exceptions!
Usually if Rush senses trouble, for himself, the caller, or the show, he finds a deft way to angle out of the unfolding logical absurdity. Not this time. After telling us for weeks that Catholic institutions should have the right to refuse funding birth control in their health plans for reasons of religious freedom, Rushbo and his ditto-army lather up over the idea that a few thousands members of the Arapaho nation be allowed to engage in symbolic eagle hunts as a part of a religious ceremony.
Why? That should be obvious. The bald eagle is the majestic symbol of all things American. Any religious belief that does not accept that self-evident symbolism is so absurd as to be unworthy of any Constitutional protection. But if you think old white men are the best judges of what women should do with their bodies, your regular, normal, and thoroughly "correct" religious beliefs must be protected all the way up to the Supreme Court.
This is the world they, and thus we, must live in, at least until the collective GOP brain catches fire and explodes like one of those ditto-robots asked to compute two contradictory positions at once.