Skip to main content

More Odd Advice for Girls

If you enjoyed Heart Throbs comics from a couple of weeks ago, here is another vector of girl propaganda from the early 1960s.  Calling All Girls was a subsidiary of Parents Magazine.  The magazine is full of "stories, comics, things to do."  As you might imagine about a girl-centric publication from "Parents" magazine in 1963, the stories and comics are all fairly banal: serialized mysteries about old lighthouses and strange new neighbors; comix about teen girls who drive their fathers crazy; diet/make-up/fashion advice.  What is strange, however, are the magazine's recurring "tips"--short sidebars added to kill white space when a feature story ran short.   If Heart Throbs taught slightly older girls that boy-attention is the force that moves the world, Calling All Girls apparently hoped to convince young ladies that the world is full of dirt and disorder, and that it is the responsibility of all females to fight the entropy of the universe.  Having a party?  Why not cut a plastic sheet to cover your bed so that your guests' coats do not pick up lint?  If you have plastic flowers in your room, apparently it's a good idea to hold them over steaming tea kettle once a week to "refresh" them.  More advice is available below--but I take no responsibility for any subsequent OCD symptoms you might develop after reading them.

Popular posts from this blog

Whatever Happened to "Radar" O'Reilly?

A DA-7 hardship discharge brought Radar right back to where he started in life: Ottumwa, Iowa. In less than a month he knew he had made a terrible mistake.  Radar had neither the inclination nor the tenacity necessary to run a working farm, and soon he and his mother were even closer to bankruptcy than ever before.  After a long talk, Radar finally persuaded his ailing mother to go live with her sister in a neighboring town.

Somehow during this difficult period of transition, Radar became engaged to be married.  But after announcing his intention to sell the farm and all the livestock, Radar's bride-to-be began acting strangely--or so it seemed to Radar.  The night before the wedding, a panicked O'Reilly arrived unannounced on the doorstep of his surrogate father, Colonel Sherman T. Potter (who had taken a position shortly after the Armistice supervising the V.A. hospital in River Bend, Missouri, just a few hours south of Ottumwa).  As it so happened, Radar burst into the hou…

Violent Jeff Foxworthy Breakfast Snipes

The Inhuman Centipede

Maybe you’ve been ignoring the whole Human Centipede thing hoping it would eventually go away.  And no one would blame you.  By now, almost every pop- literate citizen is at least aware of the basic premise—psychotic German surgeon abducts three people and sutures them together, ass to mouth, to form the “human centipede” (after practicing on his three Dobermans, the lost, lamented “3-dog”).  No one should have to see something like that if they don’t want to.  For many, it’s bad enough just knowing it exists—try to “unthink” that premise once you’ve heard it.
The “human centipede” is a brilliant concept that made for a decent film.  Congratulations to writer/director Tom Six for imagineering a genuinely novel development in the horror repertoire, especially this late in the game.   By virtue of the premise alone, The Human Centipede was the biggest innovation in exploitation since the great hype-cloud that allowed The Blair Witch Project to blur possibility and probability back in 1…