Romney Hashtag Hailstorm

ABC News Anchor Diane Sawyer has apparently set up an interview with Mitt and Ann Romney for Monday, April 16.  In an attempt to keep Sawyer, ABC, and the Romneys up-to-date with the whole social media thing, Sawyer used her twitter feed this afternoon (April 12)  to solicit questions for the presumptive GOP Presidential nominee and his wife.

Below, with very minimal editing, I offer the first 100 or so tweeted "questions" to arrive at #AskRomney.  Some I edited for being nonsensical (at least to me), another was over the line (at least to me).  As far as I could see, out of the first 300 tweets or so, only two qualified as "legitimate" questions that an ABC reporter might actually ask a Presidential candidate (one concerned sending U.S. troops to battle the Mexican drug cartels, the other was more an impassioned plea to defeat Obama). The rest?  Well, take a look for yourself.  If the twitterverse is a barometer of anything, Romney has an uphill climb ahead of him.

WHERE THE WHITE WOMEN AT?!

how becoming android voids you of the irrational components of human life and gives you daily systematicity.

What's your favorite Converge record? If you quickly answer "Jane Doe" I'll just assume you're pandering.

Did you kill Batman's parents? 


Is it cool to see James Bond driving a car in a movie and then go out and buy that car afterwards?

How much of your legacy programming is still COBOL?

Which Blueprint album is most baller?

WHAT IS THIS TREND ALL ABOUT?
 

Is it true that if I kill you, and eat you, that I become you?

Can you open this jar for me?

Who mucks out your dressage horses stalls twice a day?

Have you ever made it with one of your slaves?

How far into International waters must I go to legally beat the deckhands on my yacht?

Do these pants make me look fat?

Do you ever suspect that your groundskeeper is having parties in your mansion when you're out of town?

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you...

Do you have any other wives stashed somewhere? Like in the Cayman Islands maybe.

Y U No Listen to All American?!


What's love got to do with it?

Which disc off of Master P's album "MP Da Last Don" did you play more, the red one or the blue one?

You're walking in a desert when you come to a tortoise. You flip it over and watch it bake in the sun. Why don't you help it?

Why didn't you tell me there was a typo in my last tweet? Doesn't your Mormon underwear make you magical?

do you think you could dunk on Obama. Do you believe you have the sick dunks this country needs
 

AND I SAY HEYAYAYAYAY. HEYAYAYAY. I SAID HEY. WHAT'S GOING ON?

Someone told me the only way to get spaghetti sauce out of carpet is to put half a tomato on it to "resorb" it. Is this true?

zen arcade or double nickels

what emulator do I need to play you

when you saw the Trayvon Martin story on the news, how surprised were you that black people still exist

African or European swallow?

do you get nervous when you walk into Men's Wearhouse and see all the other empty suits?

seriously i've asked obama, NASA, and lots of people by now with no answer to my question: how do I get past the water temple

What happens when someone spills water on your robot parts?

hey is cartoons real? have u met homer simpson when he went to space

Why didn't you become Batman? You have enough money to be Batman. Are you afraid to be Batman?

Why did you think this would be a good idea?

What up player what's the most layers u ever had in a Photoshop file

of all the Mormon planets which is your favorite? Is it the one where black people came from?

To the anonymous intern that is reading these, how does it feel. Are you holding up

who let the dogs out
 

how do i download wu tang

how much did it cost to retrofit a human skin over your sore-ridden insectlike carapace

Will you build a space ship to find God

Why does Mormon underwear have a neckline? Isn't that just a fancy term for a Mormon muumuu?

do you read my blog?

what will u do to stop friendzoning

MORE OF A STATEMENT THAN A QUESTION: U HAVE 2 DIAL 9 FIRST TO CALL EXTERNAL NUMBRS. SOMETIME I FORGET & GET SOME1'S EXTENSION LOL

"Is it true that God didn't make little green apples? Because they're sinfully delicious. "

Do you agree that Wheelman is the most underrated game of the current console generation?

Can you answer this spam bot already? I mean, she's offering you $300 dollars a day!

How would you like to win a FREE iPad while earning 2K a week from the comfort of your own home!

Have you ever thought about hosting a GaiaOnline chat? I bet you'd get lots of followers there.

When you're elected President, will you overthrow the British government so the Smiths can reunite?

Toast or Milquetoast?

When are you coming out with some new pullstring phrases? im tired of your current ones

What's your least favorite country, Italy or France?

were you aware that your last name is also a kind of sheep you fluffy little devil, you

I'm trying to get 3 stars on Level 4-3 on Angry Birds Rio... Can you help walk me through this... I have FaceTime

Whose tusk gleams in the night?

were they all dead in LOST the whole time what a lame show LOL

can you use some of your pocket change to come visit me so i can slap you in your wallstreet mouth?

OMG, i'm actually like dying reading these tweets

Who would win in a fight between a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco?

How in the F*#$ do you not drink Iced Tea?

War. What is it good for?

My feet look glamourous!

Does this tattoo look infected?

Are you going to go back to Bain Capital after you lose the election in November?

Do your magic underwear chafe or do you buy special luxury magic underwear?

what will u do 4 mens rights

what should i do with these nicole scherzinger-branded fake nails that are too purple for me

If you become President, will you make them bring back Facts Of Life?

remember when we were gonna watch the big lebowski then we watched dear john instead and you fell asleep in my arms

How many glasses of orphan tears do you drink a day?

mittins hey i was wondering if u an ur wife need an egg donor. im fertile and broke. im college educated so im a good catch

Why do you prefer the Missouri Fox Trot over the Austrian Warm Blood? Cause the Fox Trot is made in the USA right? 

 if you had to put everyone in the world into a "fat" bin or a "thin" bin, which bin would I be in?

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

do u like movies about gladiators?

Why as a supposed "businessman" his job was to FIRE everyday people and REAP the profits?

I'm 23. Do you think that's too old for hoodies?

If corporations are people, my friend, what length prison term should you serve for killing so many?

consider Ozymandias, or the heads on Easter Island. Each one in their day was a President Romney not unlike you. are they happy?

Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?

What was it like being a bad guy in all those 80s and 90s jean claude van-damme style movies?

Can mages ever be trusted to walk amongst normal men, or must they always be watched by the Chantry's Templars?

If a red train leaves L.A. at 3pm and a blue train leaves NYC at 6:15pm, how fast would you destroy America?

Are Lovely Canadian girls as sweet & as Canadian as maple syrup?
 

Did Stevie Wonder cut my neighbor's hair? 'Cause it looks AWFUL.