50 Reasons Why "Rock Star" (2001) Merits Your Attention
2. It's set in the mid-1980s and was originally titled "Metal Godz."
3. Mark Wahlberg plays the lead singer of a Pittsburgh cover band.
4. The band they cover is called "Steel Dragon."
5. Jennifer Aniston plays Mark Wahlberg's girlfriend and manager.
6. There are two "Steel Dragon" cover bands in Pittsburgh. They are bitter rivals.
7. When the two cover bands get in a parking lot fight, each member of the band fights his counterpart in the other band.
8. Jennifer Aniston pierces Mark Wahlberg's nipple to demonstrate their intimacy.
9. Mark Wahlberg's brother is a cop. He doesn't get what his brother is doing with his life.
10. Mark Wahlberg's cover band plays a gig in a steel factory to demonstrate his solidarity with the regular working folk.
11. Mark Wahlberg gets very upset when his bandmates don't play "Steel Dragon's" music exactly as written. This leads to an onstage fight.
12. When the lead guitarist gets ready to fight Mark Wahlberg onstage during the show, he first tosses his ax to a roadie.
13. A "Steel Dragon" cover band in Pittsburgh has its own roadies.
14. When Mark Wahlberg gets fired from the band and storms out of the room, Jennifer Aniston says to his former bandmates, "I'm a business woman. Rule number one is you follow the talent. And all the fuckin' talent in this band just left the room."
15. Jennifer Aniston hopes to make money by managing the lead singer of a Pittsburgh cover band.
16. When the real guitarist from the real "Steel Dragon" calls Mark Wahlberg on the phone one morning, Mark Wahlberg thinks it's a joke and hangs up. But it is not a joke.
18. Mark Wahlberg and Jennifer Aniston are met at the airport by an icy Russian woman who says to Jennifer Aniston in a thick Russian accent, "Your breasts, are they yours? They're quite a sensation." This means they are now in L.A where things are different from Pittsburgh.
19. "Steel Dragon" wants Mark Wahlberg to audition as their new lead singer because they are firing their current lead singer, not for being gay, but for missing a lot of gigs.
20. Just then, the actual lead singer for "Steel Dragon" storms into the studio and they all have a big fight. Mark Wahlberg learns that many of his favorite "Steel Dragon" songs have a gay subtext and that the outgoing lead singer for "Steel Dragon" wears a wig. This is a reference to Judas Priest.
21. Mark Wahlberg is nervous and appears to be blowing the audition, but after Jennifer Aniston silently mouths "I love you" from the back of the room, he does great.
22. For his new job, Mark Wahlberg must learn to speak with an English accent.
23. Mark Wahlberg practices his English accent by standing in front of a mirror and saying, "I eat a lot of pussy," over and over again. He has been told this is something rock stars might say. Lying in bed, Jennifer Aniston tells him to either do it or shut up already.
24. At this moment, "Lick it Up" by Kiss surges on the soundtrack.
25. In preparation for Mark Wahlberg's first big concert with "Steel Dragon," there is a fast-motion montage of the arena being set up for the show.
26. When Mark Wahlberg makes his big entrance as the new lead singer for "Steel Dragon," he falls down a flight of stairs...but he gets right back up and finishes the song with blood streaming down his face.
27. Some fans at the show want the old lead singer back. Mark Wahlberg sprays them with a firehose, pretending it's his penis. This affirms his rightful place in the band.
28. Later he says to the audience, "Follow your dreams, because we all die young."
29. After the concert, Mark Wahlberg's cop brother can't get backstage, which is quite a humiliation and appropriate punishment for having doubted Mark Wahlberg.
30. At the after concert party, the icy Russian woman says to Mark Wahlberg in a thick Russian accent, "How does it feel to know everyone in here wants to fuck you?"
31. Mark Wahlberg and Jennifer Aniston are very much in love and try to remain true to one another at the big party, but as they are dancing the icy Russian woman brings over some E and a posse of hot sweaty people to grind on them.
32. The next morning Mark Wahlberg and Jennifer Aniston both wake up surrounded by passed-out naked people...but not in the same room.
33. Mark Wahlberg sees the icy Russian woman in the bathroom taking a piss. She is standing up and wearing pants. The icy Russian woman has a penis.
34. Later, on tour, Jennifer Aniston must sit in the "wives" limo apart from Mark Wahlberg. She thinks about her future as the line "How did I get here?" from the Talking Heads' "Once in Lifetime" plays on the soundtrack.
35. After Jennifer Aniston tells Mark Wahlberg she's going to leave the tour to pursue a business opportunity in Seattle, one of the older members of "Steel Dragon" gives Mark Wahlberg relationship advice while receiving some form of backstage liver dialysis. This is a reference to the rumor that Keith Richards used to get blood transfusions from teenage girls in Switzerland.
36. To signify rock star excess, Mark Wahlberg buys the classic 1960s Batmobile.
38. For a moment it looks like Mark Wahlberg might lose the race, but he uses the "afterburner" button on the Batmobile to win at the last second. The "afterburner" on the Batmobile is apparently a functional device.
39. A TV set is thrown from a hotel window.
40. When "Steel Dragon" finally gets to Seattle, Mark Wahlberg is too wasted to remember that he was going to meet up with Jennifer Aniston.
41. After Mark Wahlberg and Jennifer Aniston break up, the camera stays on Mark Wahlberg while dollying backwards in slow motion. Fade to black. This captures the emotional distance between Mark Wahlberg and Jennifer Aniston.
42. Mark Wahlberg apparently continues to drive the Batmobile on an everyday basis, despite its age and no doubt astronomical insurance costs.
43. Mark Wahlberg brings new songs and an idea for the next album cover to the Steel Dragon recording sessions, but is told he is basically a "voice for hire."
44. Ratt is invoked derisively.
45. Later, on stage, a disillusioned Mark Wahlberg sees a kid in the audience singing along to all of Steel Dragon's songs, just like Mark Wahlberg did all those years ago in Pittsburgh.
46. Mark Wahlberg gives the kid in the audience the microphone and quits the band--right in the middle of the show.
47. Mark Wahlberg says he just wants "to find himself." Even though he probably made a lot of money during his time in Steel Dragon and once owned the Batmobile, we now see him wearing a flannel shirt and hitch-hiking with a guitar bag over his shoulder.
48. Mark Wahlberg comes to Seattle and sees Jennifer Aniston working in her new coffee shop, but doesn't go inside. He's just not ready yet.
49. Mark Wahlberg cuts his hair and plays a set in a Seattle club accompanied by a cello and an acoustic guitar. He is more sensitive now and is finally playing his own music.
50. Jennifer Aniston comes into the club and they kiss. They both missed each other. The year is 1988. Mark Wahlberg will soon found Pearl Jam.
